10 Simple Steps to Developing Communication Confidence

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Brought to you by Peter Murphy, author of

How To Communicate With Unstoppable

Confidence in 20 Days or Less

http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com

Welcome to a special new report...

Would you like to discover why some people seem to easily and

effortlessly start great conversations with anyone they meet?

While you struggle and wonder what you're doing wrong...

Although it can seem like a complete mystery until someone reveals

the secret to you. Feeling shy, lacking confidence and getting stuck

for words need not be the way you spend the rest of your life.

The problem is you have been getting bad advice - from people

who don't understand what its like for you to feel self- conscious. And

unable to express yourself as well as you know you can in day to day

life. Even though you do so well with your closest friends.

Read on to discover the answers...

Having superior conversation skills and great people skills is a matter

of strategy. These abilities are not reserved exclusively for some

lucky elite group of people.

I urge you to read and use the insights I share in this report and return

often to this report to review the material.

When I set out on this journey you now find yourself on I found it

difficult to meet new people. I was often shy when I desperately

wanted to speak up.

I lacked confidence in myself even though I knew I had a lot to offer.

My day-to-day life was dominated by barriers to what I could do,

would do and felt safe doing.

If you ever feel unsure of yourself with other people, stuck for

something to say and tense for no good reason then you know what I

am talking about.

Let me tell you now. There is a better way! Devote yourself to learning

effective communication strategies and commit to mastering them

and your life will change beyond all recognition.

I am the same person I was when I felt stuck because of shyness. The

difference now is that I can instantly feel confident with people

whenever I choose to. I no longer get tongue tied when meeting new

people. Making conversation is easy for me now and it can be for

you too.

You can do the same. All you need to do is learn advanced

communication skills strategies that actually work.

Little by little you can become even better than you expect in

all your dealings with other people.

Now lets cover the steps to developing superior communication skills

that causes people to respond positively to your ideas and

requests.

Every successful man and woman deals effectively with the constant

pressure and demands of modern life. You need to learn to do the

same.

If you don't you will fail to communicate at your best when it is most

important that you do so.

One of my millionaire mentors was telling me recently how much he

loves to solve problems. And he was smiling and excited about

having more problems to look forward to!

This kind of attitude allows you to approach life in a whole new way. It

means that you feel positive and energetic when the pressure is on.

Consequently you will be able to express yourself well even in the

face of stressful situations.

And just as importantly, it means that you feel good when you

communicate so that you come across as a capable and confident

person. And feeling good makes it so much easier to make great

conversation.

Think of people who have charisma...

Maybe your favorite actor or even someone in your office. Do they

exude stress and worry?

Of course not!

They have charisma partly because they feel relaxed and in charge of

their circumstances.

Make of point of managing your attitude and your emotions. Your

ability to express yourself in a charming way will soar.

A second key factor in expressing yourself clearly when making

conversation is the ability to have congruence in all that you do.

What do I mean by congruence?

I mean that who you are, what you do and how you communicate must

all be in alignment.

Charismatic people intuitively know this. Think of a charismatic

business leader like Steve Jobs of Apple Computers. He loves

developing new technologies, it excites him and it's what he wants to

do. It's part of who he is.

And when he speaks he is talking about what he loves with a sincere

passion. He doesn't need to pretend to be excited about his work

and what Apple is producing. He is excited!

In contrast think of someone you know who is doing a job he doesn't

really want to do. When he tries to be enthusiastic about his work it

seems false. Because it is.

To communicate with more impact you must be congruent. Make a

point of always doing what you say you will. And find ways of aligning

what you want most in life with the work you do.

For example if high standards are important to you apply this

principle to all your tasks, even to those you don't want to do. Little by

little you will become more congruent in your work as well as in your

home life..

This will cause you to be fully present when you deal with coworkers

and family. And when you speak you will have more credibility and

impact.

I have never known a charismatic person who did not feel good about

himself and the role he performed in life. People who approve of

themselves and who have high self-esteem take good care of

themselves and the needs of the people in their environment.

They actively encourage people to pay attention when they speak.

How? Simply by the way they exude positive feelings about

themselves and others.

The opposite is also true.

A senior manager who does not feel good about himself is incapable

of treating his staff as well as they deserve. He is likely to be harsh

when he needs to be more considerate and likely to be unreasonable

when he needs to listen more.

He is actively encouraging people to avoid him.

However when you do have high self esteem your friends and family

will be more responsive to what you say because your non verbal

communication will be more alive and more compelling.

Make a point of appreciating yourself for you are and not just for what

you can do. Be willing to accept praise from your peers for your

contribution at work and be kinder to yourself when things do not work

out.

Think about the way you treat your best friend. Do you treat yourself

as well? Probably not! Approve of yourself more and you will exude

an aura of positive energy that will attract people to you.

You will then have more charisma and more confidence to say what

you really think when you make conversation!

Confident communication and energy feed off each other. It takes

energy to have an impact on other people and it takes energy to be

charismatic.

And when you exude charm and confidence you unleash the energy in

those who are listening to you. They feel charged up and ready to

take action because of the effect your words have on them.

Your goal then is not just to speak better and listen more. You need to

make a point of having more energy. Find out how to eat in a way that

gives your body energy instead of tiring you.

Learn to meditate to let go of the daily stress of life and take exercise

you enjoy that makes you stronger.

Before long you will dominate the afternoon meetings because you

will be bouncing with energy while everyone else is struggling to stay

awake!

After work you will have more energy for socializing and meeting new

people - even making small talk will seem easier when you feel

charged up.

Remember your ability to display superior communication skills is

limited without the energy to fuel it.

The leader that exudes confidence does so because she is flexible in

how she communicates.

She understands that different people respond differently to the same

words and that it is imperative that she understands this and adapts

her approach to suit who she is talking to.

One size does not fit all!

Some people like to hear the message quickly while some need it

explained slowly. Others want the big picture only but their

colleagues get confused unless they get all the details up front.

One of the most successful people I know is a master of

communication flexibility.

How does he do it?

The secret is to be a great observer! Watch and listen very carefully

to other people when they speak to you. They will invariably talk in the

way they like to be spoken to.

If someone speaks slowly and explains his points with real life

examples then you need to speak his language when it is your turn to

speak. Speak quickly and in conceptual terms and you will have no

charisma as far as he is concerned.

Another trait I have observed through observing highly successful

individuals is the attitude of always growing. These gifted

communicators learned this craft by persisting and continuing

to learn from every experience.

After a meeting these people typically ask themselves how they could

have performed even better. And they stretch themselves everyday to

do just a little better than the day before.

Make a list of those situations in your life where you find it difficult to

communicate at your best. Pick one to work on.

Now brainstorm:

What is holding you back?

What skills do you need to learn?

Who can I learn from?

Then act on the possible solutions and keep adjusting your approach

until you achieve your goal of communicating with charisma in these

situations.

Adopt this attitude of stretching and improving even a little each day

and before long you will be a masterful communicator.

It's shocking when you learn the difference between those who get

what they want in life and everyone else.

There is a relatively small group of people who seem to have all the

luck. They drive luxury cars, live in huge homes, have great

relationships and succeed at virtually everything they do.

How do they do it?

Well it's not because of luck unless you believe that luck is due to

preparation and an eye for spotting and seizing opportunities.

The top 3% of humanity commit to self-development. They invest in

books, courses and seminars to develop their skills and abilities.

They then go one step further and apply what they learn.

Although it sounds crazy most people do not apply what they learn

and not surprisingly most people live unsatisfying lives.

Finally, the top 3% don't waste time. They use the same 24 hours you

have each day to get things done. They don't waste hours watching

TV.

These people are more likely to be producing TV entertainment or

selling their products on TV than to be sitting at home vegetating in

front of the box in the corner.

You want superior communication skills? Are you prepared to do

what the top 3% do?

When I first learned the powerful communication skills I now use daily

I was impressed by the material I was absorbing in seminars.

So was every one else! What made me different was the fact that

after a long seminar I would spend the evening going over my notes

and studying the material.

I then spent at least one hour each day using my new skills until I had

mastered the material. My communication skills grew very quickly

and my confidence soared. I found it much, much easier to make

conversation even when meeting new people. I doubled my salary in

a matter of months.

You can develop exceptional people skills and enjoy feeling deeply

appreciated and respected by others. Are you prepared to work at it?

The choice is yours!

What is the source of that charismatic glow that some people have?

Why does it radiate so strongly?

When you do not want or need the approval of the people you are

talking to your entire communication takes on a different and more

energetic quality. And that's the secret!

Let go of wanting the approval of other people and ironically you will

tend to get that very approval.

Why is this?

Quite simply people tend to take things at face value. If you have a

conviction that you are correct about something others will assume

you are right unless additional information proves otherwise. The

same applies to approval.

If you do not need approval you do not give off the feeling that you

lack approval. This encourages your listener to follow your lead and

believe that you ought to be approved of.

On the other hand when someone desperately needs your approval

you can sense their neediness and see the craving in their eyes. This

wanting approval prevents the person from having confidence.

A sound strange doesn't it?

Think of a time when you were fired up about an idea and you spoke

with real conviction and passion about it. Think of a time when you

did this with real confidence.

In that moment isn't it true that getting people to agree with you did

not matter that much?

Unknowingly you had stumbled onto a secret to charisma. The only

challenge is that you don't know how to get back into this state

whenever you want to.

Charisma is that aura that some people have that makes you

receptive to what they say. In other words they have a persuasive

charm that causes people to take action based on what they suggest.

Would like to be more persuasive? Would it help you to enlist the help

of your coworkers when you need to get things done? Do you want

your family to pay more attention to your needs?

The best communicators in the workplace do not rely solely on their

position to get people to take action. They understand the importance

of mastering persuasion skills to create an environment where staff

willingly work hard to achieve results.

How can you become persuasive today?

Pick a topic you will be discussing in an upcoming meeting. Next,

pick holes in your argument and leave no stone unturned in looking to

destroy your position.

Now that you have a big list of potential objections to your message

brainstorm at least three answers to each objection.

Once you have done this it is time to mentally rehearse how you will

respond to these objections in the actual meeting. In your imagination

hear someone running through these objections one at a time.

For each objection hear yourself confidently and congruently

responding. Reply with the three answers you prepared for each

objection.

Why?

To cover all angles and to build an inner confidence that only comes

from thorough preparation. When you have a great answer to every

likely objection you will be ready to deliver a very compelling

message.

You can apply the same principles to your family life when you want

others to do more of their share of chores!

To talk with confidence you absolutely must remain focused on your

goals despite any problems you currently face. You cannot afford to

worry about other things when you are talking. If you let your mind

wander you will dilute the impact of your words.

You need millionaire focus!

Let me explain with this example based on a true story..

Barry was on the phone in his office, speaking with confidence,

energy and passion.

In his office were a number of removal men working quickly moving

furniture out the door to the van parked outside. Before long the office

was bare except for some old files, a cracked picture frame and a

parched plant.

Just then a tall man in a dark suit entered the building with a swagger.

He found Barry still on the phone, standing in a corner of the empty

office. His voice echoed around the empty room as he finished his

conversation and hung up and placed the phone back on the floor.

Barry reached into his pocket to find his key ring, he selected the car

key and reluctantly handed it over. The man in the suit grabbed it

before walking outside and driving off at high speed in the luxury car.

John walked in to see Barry just as all of this was happening. He was

surprised at how relaxed and confident Barry was given the

circumstances.

You see, Barry had just lost his business and the removal men had

arrived to repossess his furniture while the car leasing company had

taken back the Rolls Royce because the payments had fallen into

arrears.

John was here for the same reason - to collect an unpaid debt.

Although it was clear now that there was little chance of getting any

money. So John and Barry did a deal. If Barry would teach him how

he could be so cool in the face of pressure than the debt would be

regarded as paid.

This is what Barry said to him:

And now over to you. Most people live life in a trance without noticing

the thoughts that are flying around inside their heads all day long.

Spend more time each day spotting what you think about, you will

likely find that you often run through all the things that could go wrong

as well as seeing situations working out only moderately well.

Next, review a recent event where the pressure was on and you froze.

How did you manage to put yourself in such an unresourceful state?

What thoughts were going through your mind?

More than likely you created big pictures in your mind of things going

wrong.

Get into the habit of expecting things to work out and you will find

yourself picturing life running more smoothly. You will then feel more

confident, people will respond to you differently and you will get better

results. Before long you will see that it is a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Decide who you want to talk to, be clear about the purpose of your

communication and hold that outcome in mind. When you have a

clear sense of direction it will guide you when you make conversation.

All great communicators have an all-consuming passion that drives

them. It energizes them and this contributes to the glow that makes

them seem so alive and dynamic. Focus is essential if you are to

exude a confidence that positively influences other people.

Start with the 10 principles in this document and notice how quickly

and easily you transform your ability to make great conversation -

even when dealing with people who used to make you feel

intimidated and unsure of what to say.

This report was brought to you by Peter Murphy

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